Friday, February 27, 2009
Cohabitation
We always hear so many statistics that correspond between cohabitation and marriage, and they are usually negative. We learned in class yesterday that 57% of co-habitating couples dissolve within 10 years of marriage when compared to 30% of all first marriages made up of couples who did not co-habitate before marriage. I have been hearing these kind of statistics since I was in elementary school and I came to the conclusion that there is no way statistics can define every couple in the world. Every couple has different ways of functioning and are free to choose if cohabitating would benefit or damage their relationship. The different kinds of cohabitation were also interesting to learn about, even though we only learned 3 kinds, I'm sure there are a bunch of reasons for why couples choose to co-habitate. Overall, I guess I'm just not a fan of statistics because there is no way they can apply to everyone.
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Cohabitation is a concept that I agree with. The statistics about it having such a negative impact on peoples' relationships is kind of frightening to me and makes me second guess my support of cohabitating with someone before marriage. I personally believe that living with someone before marriage is a good idea. When you live with someone, you really get to know that person on a more personal level. It requires you to cooperate, be trustworthy of one another, respect each other, and so much more. You learn a lot about a person when you live with that person. When I lived with one of my close friends one year, I thought it was just going to be the greatest thing ever! Throughout our time living together, I learned a lot about her and I learned that living with her wasn't the greatest choice I had made. I'm sure a handful of people have been through a situation like this before, but with a relationship it is key to experience this.
With a marriage, it would be heartbreaking and very difficult if you moved in with your new spouse, only to realize that you can't stand living with that person. With a marriage you can't just say, "I just don't think I can live with you". That's what I thin cohabitation is a good idea. I know that it may not be the right choice for all couples, but for myself, I feel it is an important experience in a relationship before taking it to the next level.
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