Abuse and Attachment

While studying for the final exam, I thought a lot about how much poor attachment behaviors can lead to abuse. If people are extremely insecure in their relationships then they would feel the need to have complete control. Many abusive people are probably very insecure to the point where they feel like they need to force their family to stay together. They feel the need to aggressively take control over their wives and children in order for them to stay with them. This is so sad to me because it is not necessarily their fault that this happens. Obviously it is wrong to be abusive but if that is all that they have known in their whole life how can they help it? I also put some thought into why the person being abused stays. I think this is also a bad attachment problem. Many people who are abused have been abused their whole lives. They feel like they need to be treated that way in order to be happy. This is definitely a problem. They also feel like they do not deserve better. After taking this class I have found myself thinking about issues in a completely different way. I understand now why some of my friends tend to become obsessed with their boyfriends and why they feel so attached. I have also realized how my family interacts can be extremely important in my future relationships. I am very grateful to have taken this because of all that I have learned. It will really help me in my future.