Class

I enjoyed this semester a lot. I feel like i learned a lot more about how families function and how to handle problems. Not only did I learn more about what to do when I become a counselor or social worker, but I learned things that I can use when I have a family. I liked the way Cody taught the class. He really got everyone involved and was always excited about what he was teaching. I think he taught some really important issue like how to handle stress and that looking at how to fight is more important than what you are fighting about. I am kind of sad that we are done. It was fun and very educational

I really enjoyed this class. I learned so much in it. I came into this class thinking about having family science be my major, but i wasn't sure if thats what I wanted to do. This class made me want to declare family science as my major. I want to work with families and I want to help them. I am going to be able to use what I have learned in this class to help people.

last day of class

I felt like ending our last day on working with families was a great idea. It was a nice way to top off all of the important things we have learned about families. I enjoyed how class was also used as a review day as well. I also thought that stopping and starting the movie was very effective way of us discussing and going over each different segment of effective listening. It was almost as if we were able to pick apart each part of a very small conversation, and see how the big picture really was. I loved how throughout the semester a variety of different movies or funny internet clips were used to prove a point. I thought it was a great way of teaching for visual learners.

Abuse and Attachment

While studying for the final exam, I thought a lot about how much poor attachment behaviors can lead to abuse. If people are extremely insecure in their relationships then they would feel the need to have complete control. Many abusive people are probably very insecure to the point where they feel like they need to force their family to stay together. They feel the need to aggressively take control over their wives and children in order for them to stay with them. This is so sad to me because it is not necessarily their fault that this happens. Obviously it is wrong to be abusive but if that is all that they have known in their whole life how can they help it? I also put some thought into why the person being abused stays. I think this is also a bad attachment problem. Many people who are abused have been abused their whole lives. They feel like they need to be treated that way in order to be happy. This is definitely a problem. They also feel like they do not deserve better. After taking this class I have found myself thinking about issues in a completely different way. I understand now why some of my friends tend to become obsessed with their boyfriends and why they feel so attached. I have also realized how my family interacts can be extremely important in my future relationships. I am very grateful to have taken this because of all that I have learned. It will really help me in my future.

This Semester in Family Science

With our final just 15 hours away, I was recapping everything I have learned from this class and what will really benefit me as I continue on with my life, start a family, raise them and grow old with whomever I marry. I have learned a lot about the changes that families go through, when the homeostasis is broken to change it permanently, like having children, and getting myself prepared for such a change. I know now that I have to realize how to get my point across in an argument, that the issue is more about the process than the content. I feel I can relate to my girlfriend better by listening more intently on what she thinks and watching her body movement to understand the message she is trying to deliver. I think about what it will be like to be a parent, to be a role model for a life that knows almost nothing more than what I teach him or her. I never realized how many processes were actually involved with life, unconscious processes that occur naturally and without hesitation. Because of everything I have learned, I have tried to convince my girlfriend to take this class next year, to learn the same things I did and understands our relationship a little better. I hope it will have an impact on her like it did for me and we will become better people in our relationship with a better appreciation for each other and our families.

Applying what I've learned

I look Dr. Hollist's CYAF 380 class last semester (yes, I did things a little backwards). The lecture we had last Thursday was a lot of what we talked about last semester. It's been amazing to see how applying the principles of listening has helped my relationships with my friends, family, and fiance. The two biggest things I have used and will continue to use are not rapid firing questions and not giving personal experience.

As we discussed during class, giving your own personal experience dismisses the feelings of the other person. Often times it can make it seem like you're trying to "one up" them, which only makes for the conversation to be more of a competition. Not rapid firing questions shows more respect for the person. It also shows that you're being an active listener. Active listeners are focused on what the other person is saying rather than thinking about the next statement or question they're going to ask.

In my own life, I have seen the fruits of avoiding sharing personal experiences right away. People share SO much more when I don't intrude on their stories. On the flip side, I am able to see the effects of when I do share personal experiences when it's not appropriate. I can see in the person's eyes, even if it is just slightly, a look of disappointment. I can tell just from their body language that I have dismissed their feelings. When I see this reaction, I try to get back to their story as quickly as possible by asking them a question or making an empathetic statement about their situation.

The video on Thursday really helped in understanding how to stay focused with a client and how to be an active listener. It seems really hard actually and will take a lot of work in knowing what the person really wants. Working with families will be fun and helping them with their problems will seem easier as a progress with my learning. Im glad I took this class and I hope that the things I learned will stay with me so I can grow a better family.

As professionals in training it is important for us to learn how our responses to clients can have an effect on their trust with us, willingness to share, and whether or not they will continue to seek us for help. In class we stressed a few traditional responses such as personal experience. When listening to people who have just experience a traumatic event this is not good at all. My boyfriend lost his older brother when he was in his early 20s. He said many people would say, "I know how you're feeling, my grandma just died or grandpa" or something like that. Even though he remembers little from the day of the funeral he says that those comments stick because he was so angry when he heard them. As professionals or even friends who want to be there for you during hard times it is important to think about how our responses will impact the other person.