Cohabitation

We always hear so many statistics that correspond between cohabitation and marriage, and they are usually negative.  We learned in class yesterday that 57% of co-habitating couples dissolve within 10 years of marriage when compared to 30% of all first marriages made up of couples who did not co-habitate before marriage.  I have been hearing these kind of statistics since I was in elementary school and I came to the conclusion that there is no way statistics can define every couple in the world.  Every couple has different ways of functioning and are free to choose if cohabitating would benefit or damage their relationship.  The different kinds of cohabitation were also interesting to learn about, even though we only learned 3 kinds, I'm sure there are a bunch of reasons for why couples choose to co-habitate.  Overall, I guess I'm just not a fan of statistics because there is no way they can apply to everyone. 

single life

I was really kind of shocked that single ment's health was so much lower than single women's. I would think that, not college students of course, men that were a little older could've found a way to take care of themselves better. Now I know my cousin in actually almost 30 but I know for a fact that he is very responsible takes care of himself and all the inbetween. Now my aunt has been divorced for a little over 10 year and here in the past 5 years we saw dramatic changes in her health (mentally and physically) an her well being. My grand parents decided to move into assisted living awhile ago and it has been very good for them. My aunt being the youngest of their children had the hardest time with this and she was still having quite the hard time dealing with her divorce. She went through spans of depression and anger and just disowning out whole family in general. I know how hard it was on my mom, but i see how no matter how it effect my mother she had people (my family and dad's family) that would help her through that time. I guess I just didn't realize how much someone relies on their significat others and other family until they are alone and faced with a challenge.

Single life

I was really kind of shocked that single ment's health was so much lower than single women's. I would think that, not college students of course, men that were a little older could've found a way to take care of themselves better. Now I know my cousin in actually almost 30 but I know for a fact that he is very responsible takes care of himself and all the inbetween. Now my aunt has been divorced for a little over 10 year and here in the past 5 years we saw dramatic changes in her health (mentally and physically) an her well being. My grand parents decided to move into assisted living awhile ago and it has been very good for them. My aunt being the youngest of their children had the hardest time with this and she was still having quite the hard time dealing with her divorce. She went through spans of depression and anger and just disowning out whole family in general. I know how hard it was on my mom, but i see how no matter how it effect my mother she had people (my family and dad's family) that would help her through that time. I guess I just didn't realize how much someone relies on their significat others and other family until they are alone and faced with a challenge.

Single Men and their Health

I thought it was really interesting how single men are not as healthy as single women and it's actually interesting cause I can see why. I am in a relationship and live with 2 other guys who are both single. Our house is an absolute mess all the time because they don't feel they have any reason to clean up because the only people they have over are other guys. The only time they clean the house is whenever they think a girl might come over or if we have a party. I try my best to clean up every once in a while for my girlfriend, but theres only so much I can do when the trash is constantly piling up on the living room coffee table. I have noticed too that we have all been getting a lot sicker this past school year probably because of our living conditions. Trash can go a week or two without ever being taken out, milk will stay left on the counter until it goes rancid and other disgusting things like that. And of course anytime I bring it up they really don't care because they have nobody to clean up for. I think it would be really interesting to see what would happen to our living conditions if they both got into a relationship, or at least one of them so I could have someone take my side when I say our house needs to get cleaned up before we get an infestation.

Single life

In class I found it interesting how we talked about single men and single women. I guess if you really think about it, it could get really intersting but a lot of people in the U.S. are single so not a lot of people think about it. I guess I just see us in college and how most of us live a single life even if we are in a relationship. We go out and drink and meet a lot of new people and are in group activities. I do see however that men are not as healthy as women since they tend to live in not as clean homes and they want to be the MAN and out do everyone. haha! I wish I wasnt single but like the freedom of not worrying what the guy is doing when he goes to the bars. Guess it is just a less stress life :)

Single Life

I thought the lecture about single life was really interesting. I liked the part when we were talking about peoples health when they are single and when they are married. I though it was interesting that married people tend to have better health then single people. I didn't know that single men tends to have worse health then married men. I thought it was interesting when we talked about choice vs opportunity. One of the reasons why people are single is because they don't have the opportunity to find someone. After we talked about this I wonder how many people actually use the Internet to find somebody. I know for me I wouldn't want the Internet to find somebody for me. I would want to do that for myself. Someday I hope to get married. I don't want to be single when I get older. So I hope the opportunity comes.

Single Life

As a recently engaged woman, I look back on my time as a single person and wonder if I made the most of it. Did I really discover who I am and what I want in life? For a moment I question if I did, but then I take into account all the discernment I did while I was a single person. I took so much time trying to discover my Vocation, what would truly lead me to happiness. I flew to California to visit an order of Nuns because I was so set on discovering who I was meant to be.

As I reflect on that discernment now, I see how it will apply to professional development as a parent. During class, we talked about the role parents play in sending messages to their children. It is important for parents to send positive messages in order for their children to develop a positive self-concept. Parents should also play the main role in encouraging their children to discover who they are meant to be.

As a parent, I hope to take what I learned from my discernment and use it to help my children discern where they, too, are called in life and who they are called to be. I also want to be very aware of the messages I send my children, so that I don't inhibit them from fully discovering who they are.

Health of Singles

I found it interesting that married people tend to be healthier and happier than single people. In lecture we talked about this being more applicable to men than women. One point that was mentioned was that single men tend to have less healthy lifestyles (like eating the day old pizza found under the bed!) Our text offers other explanations for this correlation. One was that single people just seem to be less healthy because they go to the doctor less than married people. Another point made in the text is that employment and economic status is an indicator of health. Since married women tend to have a higher income than single women, they generally have better health. (Higher income=higher health).
As professionals I believe it is important that we understand the research and reasons behind statistics. Sometimes it is misleading to just state a statistic such as married people are healthier. We need to tell the whole story by explaning other factors that are associated with better health.
On a more personal note, I told this statistic to my boyfriend and mentioned the thing about the day old pizza. He said that if we were basing health on food alone that I would be the one in our relationship to suffer if single. The reason being that before we moved in together I only ate cereal and ramen noodles! He is definately the better cook and healthier cook at that. Although we are not married- I think that this can bring up another good point. Just because there is a statistic that generalizes people doesn't mean that it is necessarily true for everyone, there are always exceptions to the "norm".

Chapter 4 -Circumstances paragraph-

I enjoyed reading about the different reasons why numerous people remain single. Although I am not single I felt like the circumstances paragraph had some connections with what is going on in my life. The paragraph talked about how there are other factors that cause many couples to decide against marriage. One of these circumstances was financial condition. Since my boyfriend and I have a baby on the way it seems like everyone thinks we need to be getting married. Most people don't understand that if I were to get married I would lose most my financial aid. Losing my financial aid on top of trying to support a new baby would make things way more stressful for us, thus most likely causing arguments between us. That's a big reason why I'm glad it's more accepted to remain unmarried even after children.

Single Life

While listening during class, I found many perfect examples of voluntary and involuntary single people. I began to think about why some people are voluntary or involuntary. I realized that most of the time when people are involuntarily single is when they are not happy with themselves. Instead of enjoying being alone or without a partner they think they need someone else who will tell them how good they are. I feel like every person should go through a bad break-up and realize how important it is to love yourself. I personally like many other people got my heart broken in high school and looking back, even though I went through a lot of pain, I am so thankful for that. The times when I have been single is when I have done the most personal growth. As a professional I think good advice would be for someone to find who they are and become confident in themselves before getting into a serious relationship.

In class we talked about pros and cons to being single. I found it very interesting that economic stability was a con because they only need to support themselves. There were many interesting facts about this topic that I had not known before. I think when it comes to family it is very important to talk about single life. Everyone goes through somewhat of a single phase and what they do during that time of their lives can make wonders on their relationships in the future. That is why we should know how to help single people make better choices for their future.

Single Life

There are many perceptions of people who are single.  Some of them we discussed in class, but I'm sure we did not cover all of them because there are too many.  I think being single by choice and being single by opportunity are two completely different things, but go together at the same time.  I have been in a relationship for 3 years now and it is by choice and opportunity.  I chose to enter a relationship when the opportunity presented itself.  My beliefs and values have impacted me because they effect the way my relationship with my boyfriend functions.  Also, one of the things that Prof. Hollist said was that goals impact decisions.  I have recently decided to study abroad for a year, which is going to make my relationship a long distance relationship.  I have realized that goals can come in the way of relationships, but as long as it is a healthy and both people are committed I think/hope it will work!  Overall, I think everything we talked about in class can be directly related to our lives and society today.

Single Life

I thought today's class about single life was really interesting and helpful. I think so often in our society, being single is viewed as a problem. As we talked about in class, there are advantages and disadvantages either way. However, what I thought was most important was the idea about choice, and using the time when you are single to work on your self-concept. I think that approach completely re-frames the picture of what single life is about. If you think about it that way, then no matter what end goal, it seems like a helpful process.

What I think this means to me is that as a professional, if you are working with someone about relationship issues, remind them that being single is the ideal time to work on personal matters, and that doing so will put them in the best position for any relationships, dating or otherwise, in the future.

Know Yourself!

After our lecture today it really emphasized my belief that you really need to know and understand yourself as a person before a serious relationship can form.  I'm someone who also believes that you learn more about yourself through your life experiences, which includes relationships and dating of course.  I also think that you can't expect to learn anything about yourself through flings and meaningless relationships that provide you nothing but the satisfaction of simply having someone else there. Yes, everyone may have experience with those flings, bad decisions and those relationships that didn't last long. Not to mention, those pointless young "relationships" (i.e. having a "boyfriend/girlfriend" in middle school.  I admit, I'm guilty...)but it's something that I can look back on and have a good laugh about! Anyway....

Even though those short lived relationships (the ones where you were old enough to process what a relationship meant and didn't do it merely as a socially cool status symbol),  seem like not such a big deal, you probably learned something about yourself through them.  

The main point I'm trying to get at is that those little relationships help you to understand and know what kind of person you are, which is important when it's time for a serious relationship.  You can't build a strong relationship with someone else when you don't know what kind of person you are and what you want in life.

The Single Life!

I really liked our lecture today about Single life. I am one of those people who is constantly in a relationship and for the past 6 months I have been single. This is really strange thing for me to deal with, but I wanted to stay away from a relationship for the time being to be able to really get to know myself and figure out what it is I want out of a significant other. I think the discussion today about the importance of discovering yourself was really something I could relate to. I feel that some of the reasons why my past relationships haven’t been so stellar is because I don't really have a good idea of what I want out of a relationship and what I expect. I fell that sometimes I am going through the motions and putting little effort and thought into what it is that is going to make me happy. This last 6 months of being single provided me with the opportunity to do just that and because of the time that I allowed myself to spend with just myself I feel that I have really grown into a stronger person. I know now when the time is right and when I meet someone that I want to date I will be ready to give the relationship my all and expect the same out of the other person. In a professional sense I feel that it is important to really stress the importance of knowing who we are. By being able to help others find out who they are as a person we can also help them learn from their mistakes in past relationships as well as recognize when a relationship is not healthy.

Family Strengths

I was preparing for the test and read the first essay question. I always think that my family is a strong family, but in all honesty we do not communicate well. I am usually in a yelling match 5 minutes after I walk in the door when I go home. I don't know what it is, but it's a given that when I go home I will be fighting with my family. I hate it. I am a very stubborn person, and I know that, but I just don't know how to communicate with my family. I get along great with my father, but I think it's because we are so laid back and so much alike. My mother and I are always at each other's throats....and I try to be patient, but I can not back down in a fight with her. I really wish that I knew how to communicate with her better. I guess I never really realized how much I didn't talk to my parents until i moved out and really saw how much my friends talk to their families and how close they are. I've always been a pretty independent person. Very independent actually, my mother reminds me always, but I just wish that I could once communicate with her and my father like an adult. Like I'm not just their child. It's pretty hard on me sometimes, but I guess it's just somehting to work through.

Essay number 2

The question is what family strength can you work on and I said time together. I have a son and I am either at work or school and I feel like I am never there for him. I am trying to work on spending more time at night with him and talking to him more in the morning even though he is always half asleep. This is class is helping me a lot and making me realize what I need to do with my son to make our time together the best time of his life.

Homeostasis in Families

After class on Tuesday, I started thinking about how my parents went about dealing with me and my sisters all being in college and out of the house. Both my sisters are older than me and were away for college years before I left, but my first year I was gone, my parents were happy to see us out of the house and have it back to themselves. However, after my first semester went by, my mom became very sad seeing everyone home for the holidays and leaving again so suddenly. She started calling me twice a day and was always telling me i should come home over the weekends to visit and get a home cooked meal. I didn't think too much of it, just that she wanted to see us some more, but then my dad got involved and would go behind her and tell me no matter how much she asked, I needed to stay back in Lincoln so she could get used to the fact that we were all grown up. His plan didn't quite work however.
The next year my oldest sister graduated from college and got engaged. She didn't have a place to stay so for 9 months before she was married and moved to another state, so she stayed at home with my parents while she worked and saved up money for the wedding. My mom was so happy cause she had one of her children back home.
The following year, which is now this school year, my dad was hoping we would all be out of the house again but my middle sister got accepted into Creighton Law School and to save herself some money, decided to live at home with my parents. My mom was yet again ecstatic to have another child home for the school year, while my dad was a little mad that we kept going back home. My sister is now looking for an apartment for the summer and the next school year to give my parents their time alone again but my mom is still trying to persuade her that it would be best if she just stayed at home, mostly because it's "cheaper" than an apartment. I now know why she is having such a hard time letting us go, even though this should have happened a long time ago.

Midlife

Tuesday's class was particularly interesting because it was easy to relate to examples from real life. I learned to look at my family from a new perspective...my parent's perspective. It was interesting to consider the changes they are going through during their lifetime that is different but simultaneously occuring with my own life changes. As my oldest sister is becoming a mother, my own parents are learning to be grandparents. As my youngest sister is graduating from high school, they are experiencing an empty nest. My older sister was just recently married, and my parents are dealing with a growing family. As I am in my last years of college, they may very well be fearing that I may come home and live with them again!! In a more broad sense, this class lecture taught me that not only are families seen differently by other families, but members within the same family may experience events differently.

Mid-life and Later-life

I really enjoyed the topic of our lecture on Tuesday. I'm glad to know that the myths about mid life are not true. I thought that almost everyone had a mid life crisis and I am so glad that its a myth. I don't think people should freak out about getting older. You know its going to happen. One thing I see happening with my family as my brother and I are getting older is that my mom is having separation issues. She had a hard time when I went off to college and I know she is not ready for my brother to leave, even though he still had 3 years left. I think that once my brother does leave my mom will be ok and her and my dad will have more time to do what they want and I'm pretty sure they will have more money(my brother and I are kind of expensive).

I also enjoyed talking about later life. I work in a retirement home and I enjoy it so much. I have never had as much fun at a job as I do there. All of the residents are so nice. It is really neat to see all of the couples that live there. When I'm working there I can see that they are happy being with each other and that they love each other so much. I hope that in my later life I can be as happy as the residents there are.

marriage prep

I am getting married this fall. My fiance and I are taking marriage prep classes with our parish priest. Last week we talked about the ways we communicate and solve problems. This has been an issue for us because we come from families who handle problems in two very different ways. My family gives each other the silent treatment and his family argues about everything. Taking these two communication styles and putting them together is a train wreck! I shut down and don't talk while he tries to argue his way into my silence.

Understanding how we communicate now relates to our professional development as parents because we have a responsibility to learn how to communicate effectively so that we can build a strong family. If we ignore our communication weakness now, we're only making it harder to change later.

Changing my method of communication is challenging for me. I have to learn how to open up and communicate my thoughts instead of giving my fiance the silent treatment. It's easy thinking about changing the way I communicate as I'm sitting here blogging, but in the moment of arguing when I'm really angry, every fiber of my body does not want to talk. I know that in those moments choosing to talk is what will bring about a positive change in our communication.

Growing Old

After class yesterday I really began to think about growing older and what exactly that means. In lecture we talked a lot about the myths as well as the facts that relate to growing older. I am glad that some of the stereotypes that we sometimes hear about the elderly are, in fact, myths. I am glad that it is shown as you get older your strongest relationships are still with your family. It is also good to hear that the whole idea of the elderly being inactive is not the case for many older people. It was also good to hear that as you get older your chances of divorce decrease. I feel that it’s amazing to think that two people can be together so long and still be able to get along. A lot of it has to do with being comfortable with each other and being able to depend on that other person, both to help you along as well as in an emotional way. In a professional viewpoint I feel that when we as a society think about growing older it tends to make us feel depressed and scared about what our life will be like towards the end. With a better understanding of the facts I feel that we can get a better grasp of how good of a life we can have in our later years.

Becoming a Stronger Family

I was also thinking a lot today about the second essay question. I was trying to think about what area my family could improve on right now, so I looked back at the strengths inventory I filled out a few weeks ago. While I was doing it, I remember thinking that most of all, we needed to improve our communication, becuase I felt like we so often don't talk to each other when we're going through a problem, family or otherwise. But I realized that since then, things have changed slightly - I've tried myself to be more open when I need to talk about something, and I've noticed that my parents have been more receptive about making changes.

What this made me realize is that making improvements don't need to be drastic to have a helpful effect. I think that when we're working with families, it's good to help them see how they can make small, meaningful changes that will be easier to initiate and maintain.

Essay Question

While looking at essay question number two, I began to brainstorm some ways my family could improve. I think my family could have some better quality time together. In class we discussed what exactly this means. My family is always so busy, I feel like we never really have time to just sit down and talk. One way I think we could really improve, is by eating dinner together more often. I try to make an effort to go home on Sundays, but I cannot expect everyone to be there. After taking this class I really want to make an effort to begin to make my family a lot stronger. I feel like I can do this by trying to get us all together at one time. I also realized why my family works the way it does due to the family systems theory. The idea of homeostasis really applied to my family, also the attachment theory is very evident with my little sister and her connection to my parents. I think this class should be something that everyone should take, because it does help a lot if you want your family to become stronger.

Sibling Relationships

Today in class we talked about different myths and facts of midlife and later life.  One fact that I don't necessary agree with was the one related to sibling relationships.  Dr. Hollist had brought up the idea that it the relationship between siblings is close when they are kids, becomes more distant through out life changes, but becomes close again as the health of parents declines and siblings' own children leave the home.  

I believe that this is different among varying families, based on each family's dynamics, structure and functioning.  I have 2 older brothers and my family has always been close.  When us kids were younger, we did all sorts of family activities together like, eating at home or going out to eat, vacations, movies, shopping, celebrating holidays, lots of things.  I am finishing up college and my older brothers have moved away and are in med school and working, but I feel as though we have never been closer than we are now.  Our family has faced many hurdles, such as serious medical issues, but I feel as though this has only brought us closer together.  Perhaps it is because we are all at a mature age that gives me reason to doubt the "inverted hour glass theory".  The relationship I share with my brothers is one that has always been close, besides a short period of time, in which I was in high school and they were in college and already leading their "grown up" lives.

Family Authority

Last Thursday, in class Professor Hollist discussed the patterns of family authority.  There were 3 types, the matriarchy, patriarchy, and equilitarian.  In my family, I believe it was an equilitarian, which is when the authority and power are shared between both parents.  However, my dad always played the harsh disciplinarian role, while my mom would discipline but comfort my siblings and I at the same time.  I think about how I will parent my children in the future and also hope to have an equilitarian so one of the parents does not have to be the "bad guy."  It would not be fair for one of the parents to have to do all the disciplinary stuff because then the kids will distance themselves from that parent, so I think a balance in necessary.  Parents may need to communicate about these issues before they have kids or even after and more than once, but I believe it is worth it!

Ethnic Groups oin the Country

After class on Tuesday and our discussion of how people in Brazil are categorized not by how they consider themselves, but by the tone of their skin, it made me think about when our country will get to that point. As America loses it's white majority over the next couple of decades, I am eagerly awaiting to see how many mixed race families will explode in numbers as people put their old prejudices behind and realize that our world is changing for the better with races living together in peace. A place where people will not look at a person because of one specific ethnic heritage, but can see a family with a number of different skin tones, whether they are white, black, brown or any other color, and think that they are the way of the future, mixing cultures and heritages from around the world and still coexisting as a single family unit. I think our professor and his family are doing a great thing incorporating Brazilian culture into their family to make their adopted kid know that he is of Brazilian decent and remember the old traditons of his native born country while still adopting the new customs of American culture. It's a mix of cultures like these that are going to bring people of all races together in the not too distant future.

Single Families Feb. 12

Talking about single families amazed me in some ways becuase I am a single mom. I was listening to what was said in class about how the child of single parents home are more depressed and have learning problems. I think that since I am not divorce that my son will live a normal life and even though it will be tough since he does not have a dad that he will have a good life. Being a single mom is hard in these times but is possible. There are government aids and church groups that support single moms and I do these for the sake of my son and me not losing my mind! Sometimes I wish I could go out more and live a normal college student life but my son gets me through everyday

How Far We've Come

Today during class I began to think about how far along our country has come. It is crazy to think that I would not be able to be seen with some of my best friends who are a different race than me. I cannot imagine my parents telling me to fight for segregated schools. That situation had to have an affect on many families. There had to be a lot of stress going on, especially with parent-child relationships. It is also amazing to me how much more accustomed we have come to intermixed families. It does not even cross my mind when I a married couple of two different races. I think this says something about our humans in general. We learn how to adapt to different situations. That can also teach us something about our families. Sometimes when we go through hardships we have to learn how to adapt to a new situation. If we did not know how to adapt or change our ways, not only would our country be no where, our families would be broken apart. While learning different things in this class it really makes me think about how I want to raise my family. I know that teaching my kids to treat everyone equally will definitely be one of my priorities. Also to tell them to remember that to live and learn is one of the most important qualities we can have.

Thoughts on Diversity Lecture

After watching the youtube video about the Little Rock Nine, I was thinking of how this event has impacted my own life. For me it is particularly relatable to my professional life. I am majoring in Elementary Education and a required course is Multicultural Education. Had there not have been desegregation of schools; I would not be learning how to teach students of diverse backgrounds.
In relation to our learning about families, an important aspect of a teaching is getting to know your students. One way in doing this is to learn about family life and culture of the children in your classroom. One important note that I took out of today’s lecture was that as a professional don’t generalize people with their culture, ASK! At first glance this seemed contradictory to what I was learning in my Multicultural Ed. Class. We are studying various cultures and how to adjust teaching methods to make students within that culture more successful. However, in lecture today we learned that there are between group differences as well as within group differences. Culture definitely influences families and how they function, but common culture does not necessarily mean functioning for every family within that culture will look the same.

Structure and Function

I have been really interested by all the coverage on the woman who just had the octuplets, now making her a single mom of 14 kids. I thought it was interesting, because in an interview she commented on how being an only child made her very lonely, and that's why she's had so many kids. I thought this was very interesting that she said it in this way, because it's a good example of attributing a functional problem to structure. Being an only child doesn't make you lonely - that's a matter of how her parents interacted with her. Also, having more children will not necessarily mean more love or more attention, for her or the children.

As a professional, I think it is important to not only remember the difference between structure and function, but also to remind the clients you are working with of that. Getting too concerned with the structure of things could cause them to make changes that won't necessarily solve the problems they are really facing.

I went home this weekend and brought my genogram with me. My mom helped me fill in dates and names. We came to my second cousins (who really feel like my first cousins because my dad is an only child) when something interesting came up. My great aunt and uncle were married in 1961. Less than 9 months later, my second cousin was born. For 22 years, no one has breathed a word of this to me. I was also really surprised to find out that my mom had three miscarriages, two between my sister and me and another between my sister and my brother. She even gave a name to the last child who was miscarried.

As a professional, I think it's important to know your family background and how it affects the way you practice. For some professionals, having an alcoholic parent might make it hard for them to work with families as they work through recovery with an alcoholic family member.

Knowing that my great aunt and uncle had my cousin after they were married makes me more open to working with families in similiar situations. Talking to my mom about her miscarriages and seeing the sadness she still carries with her makes me want to be a support for other women who lose a baby through miscarriage.

Broken Homes

Today in class we had a lot of discussion about single parent families.  I, personally, have never lived in a single parent home, but I did relate to some of the "popular beliefs" about single parent homes.  I found it interesting that two parent households and single parent households share a lot of the same characteristics.  The one characteristics that stood out to me was child parentification.  My sister, who is three years older then I, has always acted motherly towards me.  She has cooked me countless meals, driven me to where I need to be, and has always been protective and watchful of me.  Don't get me wrong, my parents were great and very involved in my life, but for some reason my sister always took on this role when my mom was not home.  Both of my parents have always worked full-time which I think may contribute to the reason why my sister acts as a parent.  I know its good if kids have responsibility and a work ethic, but kids should be kids.  

PS. When are our genograms due?

Genogram!

When sitting in my room i thought about my Genogram long and hard and I realized that my family is not perfect at all. Their are alot of issues in the family like drug addiction, Adultry,Abuse, and alot of people fighting with one another. I love my family dearly but we have alot of issues and I do not like talking about them because it brings back memories and alot of pain. So this project might be a little difficult for me to do but ima do it because i have to face the facts sometime. On the other hand iam very excited to do this project because if you put aside all the issues that go on my family can be very loving and supportive to myself and others.

My Genogram

My genogram pretty much follows what a lot of other people have been saying with theirs. There really isn't a whole lot of weird stuff that will be present in mine, however there is something interesting I have noticed while sitting down and thinking about my family. I never realized how many times members of my family are engaged to a person and break it off or married and then divorced, and then get married again to a person who they stay with for decades and have kids with. I started thinking about my mom, who was first married to a guy from her high school at 19. The marriage lasted for 3 years and they had no kids from it. While she was married though, she met my dad in college while they were both working for their degree in accounting. She never cheated on her husband with my dad, but after she got a divorce from him (he was emotionally abusive) she started dating my dad about a year later and they got married had 3 kids and are still together. My aunt has a somewhat similar story. She was engaged to a man who she broke it off with because he was sleazy, then she was married to a man who cheated on her not even a year into their marriage, then she married my uncle and they had my 3 cousins together, but recently then ended up getting a divorce. Another aunt I had was engaged to a man for 3 years and a few months before her wedding, he broke it off with her. It took her a few years but she started dating again, found a nice man to settle down with, got married and had my other 3 cousins together. I never really noticed how much divorce had been in our family until I really thought about it. I doesn't even occur to me all that much that my mom was married before she found my dad. Even though it's still early on with our genograms, I have already uncovered quite a bit about my family that never really occurred to me. I'm curious what else I'm going to find as I search deeper and deeper into family's history.

Structure vs. Function

In class last week we defined structure as how the family is organized and function as how the family works. It was empahsized that function cannot be compared to structure. In other words, a families areas of growths and strengths are not "blamed on" (for lack of better words) structure but function. I think it is important to note the difference. I have been known myself to make assumptions of family behavior based soley on knowing the structure of a family. However, there can be dangers in doing this.
For example, consider our genogram assignment. As I sat in class hearing all the varied structures of family's, I began to make predictions about how that particular family would work. Then I started diagraming my own family and thought about how structure may que misconceptions. It is then that I realized the significance of the function symbols and their importance in describing relationships between people.
Lets look at a divorced couple in which the father remarries and a child would then have a stepmother and step siblings. Its easy to look to an example we are familiar with, like the "Cinderella effect". One may assume that a child of the divorced couple would have a poor relationship with his/her step family and that all step families consist of evil stepsisters! As we all know this is not always true. The child may actually be closer with his or her stepmother than own mother. Note the significance funtion symbols have in this instance.
In a professional sense, I am hoping to become a future teacher. Understanding how each student's family works can be helpful in developing a plan for academic success. However, making assumptions about how a family works based on structure cannot give us real help. My poin t being that just because we know the organization of the family does not mean that we know how that family functions.

Genograms

Well it seems like the highlight of this discussion is genograms, so I will talk about it too. While I was sitting in class I started thinking about what my family's genogram would look like. My family really hasn't had that many problems. Yeah there has been a couple of divorces and deaths, but we are all still really close. My family's genogram isn't going to look all that exciting. It will probably look kind of boring. I'm not saying that I don't love my family or that I wish they were someone else, I'm saying that its not going to look that crazy. My family's genogram is not going to be all over the place. I don't think it matters how "messed up" your family is, it matters how you deal with the issues and how you and your family communicates.

Genograms

As many people have already touched on the subject, it is evident that no two families are alike. Yes, some families may share some similar characteristics, but it is impossible that any two families are a spitting image of one another.  This makes me wonder how the differences in family dynamics are created.  I believe family history, family members interactions with one another, the socio-economic status and the family's environment in which they interact, all play a part in in differentiating one family from another.  These aspects, along with many more, are valid assumptions that they are the cause of creating such diversity among families all over the world.  Take two families who have lived in the same town, parents who went to the same schools, with children who are the same gender and same age, they live in the same neighborhood, have the same social life and may seem exactly identical to one another.  Yet, because of one difference, such as family history, these two families could actually end up being complete opposites, despite their outlaying similarities.  All in all, I just find it very interesting to think about all the different families in the world.  Whenever I am in a public setting and I have some down time, I sometimes find myself looking at someone and wondering what their life is like... 

Genogram

Well since everyone else is talking about their genograms I might as well discuss mine a little bit. I've known since he announced in class that we would have to do a genogram that mine was going to be somewhat difficult. Ever since my parents divorce 9 years ago I have not talked to my dad. I might have had 2 or 3 conversations with him, but they weren't anything that was pleasant. I feel that doing his side of the family is going to be difficult for me. Up until a couple a years ago my siblings still talked to my dad a little bit, but now none of us really talked to him. None of us have seen any of his side of the family since the divorce either. They pretty much chose not to talk with us anymore. Hopefully my mom has enough knowledge about that side of the family to help me complete this project.

Genogram

Well the highlight of this blog seems to be about the genograms. As I sat in class i realized that i have a really boring family. I guess i have a lot of cousins but no one cheated on anyone and mental problems are not big in the family either. But its good to do one of these in your life time so you know how big your family is and how you came about and even though mine wont be exciting im glad I still have a family and that we all care for each other!

Family Diversity

My family genogram will, like many others, also be pretty screwed up and intense. But like someone just said below, it does not matter what your genogram looks like. What really matters is how your family communicates and interacts with each other. Every family will have hardships but the way they get through those hardships is what makes you family strong. I personally think that every family will have strong points and weak points. I also believe that every family has many places they can improve and get better. Because of this it shows how much diversity families around the world have. Even in your same neighborhood or extended family. That is one of the first things I learned while taking this class. It is not that I necessarily did not know that before, it just never really occured to me that families can be so different. I think this genogram will be good for everyone in this class to really try and figure out how your family works. That may help improve some areas that we are failing as members of our families.

Family Genogram

During class today, I found it interesting to listen to the different kinds of family structures that exist.  My mom was adopted and I also have foster siblings, so my genogram will be a little more difficult to complete than some.  I am also excited to find out things I never knew about my family's history.  Even though genogram's trace back to the family's roots, it definitely does not define a family.  By looking at a family's genogram, you can tell a lot about the family, but what you can't see is that particular family's dedication, love, and hard times that they have been able to overcome.  

Family Genogram

As we were talking about the project in class today, I started thinking about what my family's genogram. At first, I was thinking, "Mine is going to be so simple. There might be a lot of us, but we aren't complicated at all." After I started to sketch it out in my notebook, it wasn't as easy as I thought. There were dashed lines, stepchildren, boxes with Xs, shaded boxes.

It made me realize that part of the reason I thought it was going to be so easy is because for the most part, we get along well and are have enough of the qualities that strong families have like we talked about the other day. That reminded me that when working with families, the important part isn't really how neat or "simple" there family structure appears, but how they are able to communicate and work together despite whatever issues arise. Being a strong family is much more important than having a clean genogram.

Family Dysfunction

During our class discussion today about genograms I couldn’t help but think about just how complicated the term family can be. While I always thought of my family as being somewhat “normal” I found as I began to think about how I would construct my own genogram that my family has a lot of complicated relationships. My family has a history of alcohol abuse on both sides as well as issues dealing with an uncle who came out of the closet. I feel that what helps some families grow stronger are the conflicts and “weird circumstances” that come up in our relationships with each other. Sometimes what makes our family so complicated is also what makes it so interesting. The divorces, the substance abuse, the affairs, the fights are what make us not only strong individuals, but strong families as well. In terms of professional development how we are able to cope and deal with these issues are how we are going to learn lessons for the future. So I guess having a “normal” family may not be all that it is cracked up to be, sometimes we need a little dysfunction.